Ataraxia
by Lilac Winters21
Summary: When the Sith utilize an ancient mind control technique to force Anakin to turn against the Republic, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan must do everything in their power to get him back. But even if they do, there are still consequences that must be faced...
1. Prologue

_Ataraxia: noun: tranquility; the absence of anxiety_

There is no emotion, there is the Force.

At first he struggled as the tendrils of the Force sunk into his mind, but even as he fought, it called to him, promising serenity with its siren song.

My child, it murmured, rest, my child. You have fought long and hard. Return to me, and you will find peace. He tried to ignore it, tried resist it, but it wore away at his anger and his fear. He couldn't remember why he was fighting, but he knew it was important. So he pushed away the Force with all his strength, trying to hold on to his own identity, but every attempt he made to oppose it only made it stronger. Slowly the Force began to overwhelm him, wiping away thoughts and emotions alike. He was weary and tired of fighting - both this fight and all the others that had followed him throughout his life, and the Force offered him rest from all of it. He gave in to the overwhelming tide. He allowed it to rush through his mind, consuming his thoughts, memory, and fear; it left nothing but calmness and peace behind.

Faces of the people he loved swam in his vision and grew hazy as his memories faded away. He couldn't have cared less. What did the past matter? What were mere individuals in the face of the all-encompassing serenity that he felt? He had known the Force all his life, and he had thought he'd touched its power. But everything he'd ever known of the Force was less than a drop in its vast ocean. Now, he could see the power within planets, beyond the very mechanisms of life itself. The mysteries of the universe and of life itself - everything was crystal clear to him in a way that went beyond sight, beyond any senses, and beyond thought itself. He was a part of it; he was one with the Force. His name and even sense of self was completely erased, and it was pure bliss.

Sights entered his eyes and sounds entered his ears, but his mind discarded them. His body moved and spoke, controlled by an external force, but he was entirely unaware of it. He felt no pain, no hunger, no thirst. The infinite Force was all he was aware of. Time was meaningless here – he could neither remember the past nor conceptualize a future, and he wouldn't have wanted to even if he could.

Abruptly, the Force shook. Slowly, he became aware of two presences, distinct and separate from the Force. This puzzled him. He knew nothing but the Force and yet, here they were.

 _Master?_ One of them said. The word was an arrow piercing through his mind. What was this? This was not the Force. _Please, please come back! We need you, Master._ Communication, words, – this was something he had forgotten.

 _What?_ The single word was all that he could manage. Defined thought felt strange and uncomfortable for his mind. He tried to pull away from the two presences that were interrupting his perfect serenity. They, however, seemed to take his response as encouragement.

 _It's us, Master! Ahsoka, and Master Kenobi._ If the original words had been an arrow, these were a wildfire that burned through him.

 _Ahsoka?_ What did that mean? _Kenobi?_ Why did-?

 _Obi-Wan._

The name snapped into focus. With it came other memories, agonizingly sharp and clear as they seared through his consciousness. Burning sand on his bare feet and the heat of twin suns on the back of his neck. Cool metal against his hands and engine fumes burning his lungs, then cheers, screams, and the rumble of machinery digging into his ears as his pod pulled across the finish line. His mother's voice, telling him to go and not look back. The burn of a training lightsaber against his arm, the ache of weary muscles after a long day's training. The cool air of Coruscant . The feel of his lips against Padme's and the scent of her perfume. The stink of burned flesh and his mother's limp body in his arms. The pain as he lost his arm. The shock at being given an apprentice. The loss, the unbearable loss, of a war that dragged on and on and on...

 _No_ , he begged, pleading for the memories to stop. The pain of just being – of thinking, of feeling, of existing – was too overwhelming without a lifetime of pain being added on top of it. He was falling out of the Force, out of the perfect calm that had taken away his fear and his pain. Desperately, he clung to the Force around him, pleading with it to take him back. But it was sliding from his grasp; the two presences – Obi-Wan and Ahsoka - were dragging him away from the Force and away from everything he wanted. The separation from the Force was agony; each thought, each emotion, each remnant of a memory was a burning spike slammed into his mind

"Please, no," he groaned. This time the words came from his mouth as he was slammed back into his body. After the freedom of existing as pure consciousness, he was aware of every nerve ending and every cell in his body. That awareness was agony, a thousand times more painful that what he could stand. Words tumbled from his lips, broken mutters and pleas, incoherent begging for the Force to come back, to not abandon him. It didn't come back, and the pain didn't stop.

Anakin Skywalker broke down and cried.


	2. To Lose

**Alright, so here's how this is gonna go.** _  
_

 **I'll be posting this story both on Archive of Our Own and here. Chapters will be posted here first, and then any critique I get in the comments will be used to edit the chapter before it's posted on AO3. So if you're interested in reading a slightly better version of this story, feel free to come find me on AO3! My username is the same, but the fic is called "As We Fall" and it's part 1 in the series "Ataraxia."**

 **That being said, any and all comments and criticism is welcome! I'm going to be honest, this chapter probably needs a bit more work, but I've had a rough couple of days and frankly I need some sort of win right now, so posting this chapter tonight is going to be it.**

 **If you like my writing and want more or want to fangirl about Star Wars with me, hit me up at obiwanwhat on Tumblr.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _Part 1: As We Fall_**

 _Six Months Earlier_

"Ahsoka, are the charges set?" Obi-Wan asked over his comm. He crouched behind a rock for cover as blaster fire flew around him .

"I just primed the last of them, Master Kenobi." Ahsoka's voice responded through the communicator on his wrist.

"Then get out of there as fast as you can. We won't be able to hold the door for much longer." He said, ducking down further as a blaster bolt nearly took off the top of his head.

"Copy that, Master Kenobi." Obi-Wan ended the message before jumping out from the rock, igniting his lightsaber.

"There's the Jedi!" A battle droid pointed toward him before Obi-Wan sent a blaster bolt spiraling back at its head. The droid went down, but others had heard it and were taking aim at him. Redirecting their bolts back toward them, Obi-Wan glanced around, trying to assess the situation. From his vantage point on top of the boulder, he had a decent view of the battle before him. Clones were spread out in a formation guarding the door to the underground base, and several pockets of clones were hiding behind cover further ahead of the door, sniping at the oncoming droids. Overhead, their gunship roared, spraying the advancing droid forces with heavy gunfire. It wasn't enough, however - it seemed like for every droid that was shot down, two more appeared to take its place. Obi-Wan grimaced and then jumped down from the rock, charging the droids. His lightsaber was a blur of blue light as it sliced through droid after droid, leaving a trail of broken metal in his wake.

"General, we're taking heavy casualties," Cody's voice came from the communicator on his wrist. "We're not going to be able to hold those doors for much longer."

"Copy that, Commander." Obi-Wan said shortly into the wrist comm, shifting his lightsaber into a single handed grip. Twisting his wrist slightly, he changed comm channels. "Ahsoka, where are you?"

"Almost...there," was the breathless reply, and Obi-Wan guessed she'd run into trouble on her way to the doors. A blaster bolt flew by his head, barely missing his ear. He refocused on the fight, trying to lead the droids away from the base's open door to give Ahsoka more time to get out. Frankly, he wished Anakin was with him. Another lightsaber to hold off the droids would have been helpful, and Anakin's piloting skills would be useful for avoiding the planetary defenses when escaping the planet. Unfortunately, Anakin had been in the middle of investigating a potential traitor in the Senate when this mission had been assigned, so it had fallen to Obi-Wan and a squadron of the 212th to serve as a diplomatic liaison to a planet that was supposedly undecided in its allegiance. Since the Anakin's investigation had been top secret and on a need-to-know basis only, he had sent Ahsoka along with Obi-Wan, claiming that she could use the experience as a diplomat, and that she certainly wasn't going to get that from him.

Anakin was probably going to laugh himself sick once he heard how the supposedly diplomatic mission had turned out.

"Striker, bring the ship down as close to the doors as you can. We'll need to evacuate quickly once Ahsoka gets out of the bunker, we're taking heavy losses." Obi-Wan said into the comm, speaking to the pilot of the gunship.

"Yes sir." Striker replied.

"Cody, order your men to fall back to the door. As soon as the ship lands, get everyone aboard. Ahsoka will be out of the door in a few minutes." Even as he said it, his wrist comm beeped to indicate that another message was coming through.

"I'm out, Master Kenobi! I can trigger the bombs as soon as we're a safe distance away."

"Good. Get on the ship with the clones as soon as it lands, I'll be there in a moment." Obi-Wan began to draw back from the fight. He continued to reflect blaster bolts back at the droids, but he retreated back toward the door as he did so rather than pressing forward. Behind him, he could hear the gunship landing, and the movement of Ahsoka and the clones toward it.

"We're all on board, Master Kenobi," Ahsoka's voice rang through his wrist comm a few minutes later as he continued to hold off the droids. "We can take off as soon as you get on board."

"I'll be there in a few minutes then. Tell Striker to prepare for takeoff." Obi-Wan cut off the transmission and was considering the best path to the ship when, without warning, a wave of pain shot through his skull. Caught off guard, he stumbled and nearly fell, barely holding on to his lightsaber. His skull felt as though it was splitting apart. What in the name of the Force...? A stray blaster bolt grazed his arm, and it _burned,_ pulling him back to his surroundings. Through the haze of pain, he could only focus on one thought: get to the ship. Forgetting all strategy, Obi-Wan turned, deactivated his lightsaber, and began to sprint toward the ship, which lay about five hundred meters away. He tried to reach for the Force - both to release his pain and to draw the strength from it to move faster. Nothing but another wave of pain through his skull - even more intense than the last - answered him. This time, he did fall, tripping over an uneven patch of ground as the agony in his head began to overwhelm him.

He knew there were droids coming behind him, and he knew they would kill him if he didn't move. But the burning in his skull was beginning to spread throughout his body - every muscle tensing in agony, every bone aching more deeply than he would have imagined to be possible. He tried to block out the pain, to release it to the Force, but again, trying to touch the Force only lead to more pain. _Something's wrong with the Force_ he thought - or did he say it aloud? He wasn't sure. He thought he might be screaming, but it was hard to tell when reality was nothing more than an absent blur around him. In agony, unable to move or even to think clearly, Obi-Wan reached for the Force one final time, desperate for answers to what was happening. The overwhelming surge of pain came again, but this time he pushed through it, reaching out further even though touching the Force grew more and more torturous with each passing second. He was rewarded by the faintest sense of a force-signature - a force signature he knew all too well. _No,_ Obi-Wan thought, it can't be him, he's safe back on Coruscant.

"Anakin." The name slid from Obi-Wan's lips as finally, mercifully, everything went black.

* * *

Back in the ship, Ahsoka screamed without warning and fell to her knees, clutching her head.

"Commander? Commander Tano, what's wrong?" Cody asked. She shook her head mutely, tears streaming down her face.

"General Kenobi, there's something wrong with Commander Tano, we need to get out of here. Sir, where are you?" Cody waited for a response, but nothing but silence came over the radio. He turned back to Ahsoka.

"Commander, please, can you tell me what's wrong?" Ahsoka was lying on the floor now, curled up in a fetal position. She'd stopped screaming, but it was clear that her pain hadn't decreased. She turned slightly toward him, her eyes glassy with pain.

"Something's wrong with the Force," she managed to choke out. "It-ahhh" She broke off, gasping in pain.

This had to be some sort of new Separatist weapon - one designed to cripple the Jedi. It didn't seem to be affecting any of his men yet, but they needed to get out of here. Where the kriff was General Kenobi?

If the General was being affected by the weapon the same way Ahsoka was, he would be in no shape to make it back to the ship. Cody looked away from Ahoska, scanning the men around him.

"Boil, Breaker, Jeck, Bomber, and Crys, you're with me. We're going to get the General. The rest of you, cover us as best you can from the hanger opening." The men he'd selected nodded and fell in step next to him. Cody turned to Gregor. "If we don't make it back, or the ship starts taking too much fire, tell Stryker to take off."

"Yes sir," Gregor said. "But you'll be back, sir."

"I hope so," Cody muttered, drawing his blaster. The other five he'd chosen did the same. Stepping off the ramp of the ship onto the planet's surface, the first thing he heard was the screaming. It was a tortured, nearly animalistic shriek that seemed to go on, and on, and on. Cody scanned the ground in front of him, looking for the source of the noise. To the left of the ship, about 200 meters away, a twitching body lay in the dirt, the ground around it being splattered with blaster bolts. Cody's trained eye took in the situation: his General was defenseless on the ground, and the droids would be on top of him in a moment. If they didn't act quickly, the General would die. It looked like he'd already taken several blaster bolts, and that was already more than a normal human could survive.

"On me, now." Cody barked, gesturing toward General Kenobi. "We'll have to carry him back to the ship." Boil and Breaker went in front, clearing the ground in front of the General Kenobi. The rest of the clones followed them, shooting around the two in the front. They moved quickly, reaching the General after a few minutes.

"Crys, grab his legs - I'll get his arms. The rest of you, cover us." The General was unconscious now, but Cody could still see the rise and fall of his chest that proved he was still alive. Cody grabbed the General under his shoulders, as Crys grabbed his ankles, and together they lifted him off the ground. Even in the middle of the fight, Cody couldn't help but register just how badly General Kenobi was wounded. His face was a mess of blood and his nose was at an unnatural angle, making Cody think it was broken. His shoulder was shifting beneath Cody's grip, suggesting a fracture somewhere. Obi-Wan's meager armor had barely protected him from the blaster shots. Somehow, nothing vital had been hit - Cody suspected that after General Kenobi had fallen, the droids had assumed he was dead, and returned to sweeping the area with blaster bolts rather than targeting him. The General still looked bad, though - his robes were torn, singed, and covered in dirt stains. His left leg especially was a mess of burned flesh, blood, dirt, and ruined cloth. Frankly, Cody was grateful that General Kenobi was unconscious, because they were almost certainly making his injuries worse by carrying him like this. He was better off injured than dead though, and they hadn't had time for anything else.

Blasterfire ricocheted around them, causing explosions of dirt where bolts hit the ground. When the clones had been moving toward Obi-Wan, they'd been moving quickly, and the clankers had still been focused on searching for Obi-Wan. Now, the droids' entire attention was focused on them, and carrying Obi-Wan slowed them down. Cody knew it was only a matter of time until one of them got shot.

Even as he thought it, a blaster bolt slammed into his side, just above his hip. Cody gasped in pain, but managed not to drop the General. His armor had protected him from the full effect of the bolt, but damage had still been done. The ship was only fifty meters away. He could make it that far before collapsing. They just had to get the General to the ship. They could do this. And then three blaster bolts slammed into Crys's head.

Crys crumpled to the ground. When the weight Cody was carrying suddenly doubled, the General slipped out of his grasp, crashing to the ground as well.

"Stop!" He ordered the other men, before they could crash into him and trip over the General and Crys. "Crys is down. Jeck, grab the General's legs so we can keep going." There was no time for sorrow, no time for any hesitation. If Cody couldn't get General Kenobi and the rest of his men back to the ship quickly, they would all die. Jeck darted around Cody to grab General Kenobi's legs, and Cody lifted up his shoulders once more.

By the time they made it to the ship, Breaker and Bomber were both dead, and Boil was shooting with his left hand after a shot had rendered his right arm useless. The second they were onboard, Gregor slammed his hand over the button that closed the ship's bay doors.

"Striker, they're onboard, take off _now_ ," he said into his comms. Cody slumped to the ground, his hand pressed to his side where he had been shot, and Boil stood cradling his injured arm. General Kenobi and Commander Tano were both laid out on the floor, unconscious. Gregor mentally ran through the list of all the clones who had come on this mission. They didn't have a medic with them - this was supposed to have been a diplomatic mission, they hadn't thought they'd need one. The ship was also small enough that they didn't have a sickbay, meaning that they also didn't have much in the way of medical supplies.

"Switch," Gregor called out, naming the only clone on the mission who had some level of medical training. "Do what you can for the General and the Commander, and then take a look at Cody, Boil, and anyone else who was injured in the fight. Wooley, you search the ship for whatever medical supplies you can find - there has to be a basic medkit around here somewhere. Hatchet and Dale, stay with Switch - if he needs an extra pair of hands, help him. I'm going to try to get a message through to Coruscant." The clones he'd named looked briefly to Cody, who nodded, and then moved to start the tasks given to them. Gregor made his way to the bridge, where the main communication system was.

"How long until we can send a message to Coruscant?" He asked Stryker, walking into the cockpit. Stryker glanced at a screen on the display in front of him.

"We're still too far away - it'll be another few hours of hyperspace travel before a message will go through," Stryker replied.

"Let me or Cody know as soon as we're within range." Gregor said. "Something happened to the Jedi, so we'll need to contact the Jedi Temple as soon as possible." Saying that felt wrong, somehow. Clones didn't contact the Jedi Council directly - that was a job for their Generals. But in this case, with both of the Jedi both unconscious and Cody injured, it fell to Gregor to let the Council know what had happened at Takodana.

"Yes sir," Stryker said. Gregor left the cockpit, and walked back to the living quarters of the ship. It was nothing impressive or particularly comfortable - a series of bunks built into a wall of the ship and a small kitchen unit and refresher in the corner. Switch had converted it into a temporary sickbay; General Kenobi, Commander Tano, and several clones were all stretched out on bunks.

"Is there any change in their condition?" Gregor asked Switch, gesturing at the Jedi. Switch shook his head.

"Nothing, Captain. I can't find anything physically wrong with Commander Tano. Maybe if I did a brain scan I could find something, but I don't have the equipment to do that until we get back to Coruscant. And I put some bacta on the worst of General Kenobi's blaster wounds, but that won't do much for the injuries to his leg." Switch's expression was grim. "If he wasn't a Jedi, he'd probably be dead now. The human body wasn't meant to sustain that much damage. He needs to be looked at by a proper medic, probably a Jedi Healer. Until then, all I can really do is keep him sedated for the rest of the trip home."

"Do that." Gregor said. "How are the other injured men?"

"Cody should be fine after some rest and bacta. Pel, Zeke, and Seven all suffered superficial wounds that should heal with the same. But Boil...he'll have to have his arm looked by real medics once we get back, but I don't think his hand will ever be the same again." Gregor cursed. They'd lost nearly half the men they'd came with. Thirteen dead, plus Boil, who would be sent back to Kamino if his hand truly was damaged beyond repair: the Republic didn't waste prosthetics on clones.

"Kriffing Separatists, " He began, but was distracted by a commotion on the other side of the room. Commander Tano had woken up, and was trying to push herself out of the bunk.

"Ugh, my head _hurts_." She complained. "What happened? Last thing I remember is blowing up the weapons bunker. Did I get hit on my way back to the ship? Anakin will _never_ let me live it down if I did." Her smile suddenly slid off her face and her whole body tensed.

"Captain Gregor, where are we right now?" She asked, fear evident in her tone.

"We're in hyperspace, on our way back to Coruscant from Takodana, Commander." Gregor said, confused. "We'll be within communications range of the planet in a few hours."

"That's not far enough...I should be able to sense him." Ahsoka muttered. She cocked her head to the side, as though she was listening to something. "Why can't I sense him?"

"Commander?" Gregor asked, confused.

"I can't- I think something's happened to Anakin," she said, fear making her lekku twitch. "At this range, I should be able to sense him through our bond, and I...I can't feel him at all. Where's Master Kenobi?" She asked. Gregor nodded to the bed behind hers, and Ahsoka's expression changed from fear to horror. "What happened?" she asked.

"We don't know, Commander." Cody pushed himself off a nearby bunk, wincing, and walked over toward them. "We think there may have been some sort of Separatist weapon designed to incapacitate the Jedi. You collapsed once we got on the ship - you were clutching your head, and you said there was something wrong with the Force. Eventually, you fell unconscious. We believe that General Kenobi was affected at the same time you were, but he hadn't made it back to the ship yet, so he was injured before we could recover him." Cody said. Ahsoka's frown deepened.

"No, it wasn't a Separatist weapon. There was a disturbance in the Force - something that affected me and Master Kenobi specifically." A cold, hollow feeling was spreading through her chest. There was only one type of disturbance that would explain both the psychic backlash she and Master Kenobi had received and the fact that she couldn't reach Anakin now. She swallowed.

"I think Anakin is dead."


	3. Waking to a Nightmare

"Burns everywhere, I'm sensing at least one broken bone…" Voices washed over Obi-Wan as he drifted to consciousness. The first thing he registered was pain; his head ached, and it felt as though every inch of his body had taken a beating.

"...lucky to be alive...Oh, I think he's waking up."

"Sedate him again. Trust me, he doesn't want to be awake until after he's spent the night in a bacta tank."

"No, wait." Obi-Wan begged, the words feelling thick and indistinct in his mouth. "The last thing I felt in the Force – something happened to Anakin. You have to let me go, I have to find him." Silence from the voices above him. Then,

"Sedate him now, or he'll panic and hurt himself more." Obi-Wan felt a pinch in his shoulder as he began to struggle. His limbs refused to respond to his attempts to move, however.

"Nooo," He slurred as darkness began to overtake him. "Have to help Anakin..." And then everything faded to black again.

* * *

When Obi-Wan woke up again, he could tell he was in the Halls of Healing, lying on a bed in one of the private rooms. His mind felt cloudy and unfocused, but the only pain he felt was a dull throb in his leg. _What happened?_ He thought vaguely. Memories seemed to float just outside his grasp. _Vokara must have me on some serious painkillers,_ he thought absently as he tried again to think back. They had been on Takodana, he recalled. He'd been fighting droids to give Ahsoka time to escape, and then-

And then there'd been pain, something very wrong with the Force, and Anakin had been behind it. Obi-Wan pushed back the covers of the bed , trying to swing his legs off the bed onto the ground. This was made more difficult by the fact that his left leg was heavily wrapped in bandages and his right arm was in a sling, but he had nearly managed it when a voice came from the doorway.

"Master Kenobi, stop that before you hurt yourself." Vokara Che walked into the room, probably drawn by his return to consciousness.

"Master Che, is Anakin here? Something happened in the Force that was centered on him..." Obi-Wan stretched out his senses to reach his bond with Anakin, and gasped at the gaping emptiness that was where the bond should have been. His head spun, and he fell back onto the bed.

"Master Kenobi, you're recovering from several blaster wounds, a broken collarbone, and psychic backlash from a broken Force-bond, now is not the time to overexert yourself," Vokara Che scolded.

Broken Force-Bond. Psychic backlash. A gaping emptiness where Anakin should be. Even through the haze of the drugs, a wave of grief swept through Obi-Wan as he realized what this meant.

"How did he die?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice quiet. "Anakin was _on Coruscant_ while we were on Takodana, what could _possibly_ have happened that-?" He trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken.

"We still aren't sure what happened." Vokara's voice was gentle and consoling. "He reported in about an hour before the clones reported you and Ahsoka collapsed – he said that he was on the trail of a witness to the bribery of a senator. He sounded completely normal – relaxed, even. When the Council got word of what happened to you and Ahsoka, they sent out a team of Jedi to investigate. No one's found anything yet." She didn't say it, but Obi-Wan could tell what she was thinking. If Anakin's death had caused major enough psychic repercussions that it had incapacitated _Obi-Wan_ – a Jedi Master who suffered no such repercussions when his own Master was killed – it must have been absolutely horrifying and probably messy. It shouldn't take long for the Jedi to find the location of where it happened, since violent deaths of Force-Sensitives – especially Force-Sensitives as strong as Anakin – tended to leave an imprint in the Force that Jedi were able to track. He pushed the thought away, not wanting to think about a team of Jedi – a team who probably didn't know Anakin personally – coming across Anakin's broken, mutilated body.

"Where's Ahsoka?" Obi-Wan asked instead.

"In the room next door to this one. She wasn't physically injured, other than a few bruises from falling down. I kept her overnight for observation to make sure there wasn't any lasting mental damage, and she's still asleep there." Vokara said.

Obi-Wan struggled again to get up. "I should go see her, she must be devastated-"

"Lay _down_ Obi-Wan," Vokara Che said, exasperated. "You're not going to do the girl any good by waking her up at in the middle of the night the day after her master died." Obi-Wan glanced at the wall chrono and realized that she was correct; the current time of day had been the last thing on his mind.

"And besides that," Vokara continued, "You aren't going anywhere until I examine your injuries. You spent last night in a bacta tank, and that took care of the blaster wounds on your shoulder, back, and side. The damage to your leg was much more severe, however. You took a number of shots in your left leg, and as a result there's some serious muscle damage. Frankly, you're lucky that we didn't have to amputate. You'll have to stay completely off it for a few days at least, and you'll have to use a brace and a crutch for several weeks after that."

"A few _weeks?"_ Obi-Wan asked, incredulous. "I can't be out of the field that long! My men need me, the Council needs me-" This time, when he pushed himself out of bed, Vokara merely stood back to observe rather than trying to stop him. As soon as he tried to put weight on his left leg, a bolt of agony shot through it and it collapsed under him.

" _Now_ will you listen to me when I say you need a crutch?" Vokara asked as she offered him a hand to help him up. He grasped it with the arm not in a sling, leaning on his good leg to push himself back into the bed.

"I...may have to bow to your medical advice on this occasion," Obi-Wan gasped, still wincing from the pain.

"Good. One of my healers will come by later to start healing your collarbone, but the leg is trickier – we can speed up the healing slightly, but we have to let the damaged muscle mass grow back on its own. Tomorrow, I'll get you fitted with a crutch, but for the rest of today, I don't want you leaving this bed."

"But the Council, they'll want my report on what happened on Takodana-" Obi-Wan protested.

"Then they'll have to come here to get it." Vokara said firmly. "If you want to walk on that leg again, you aren't leaving this bed for at least a day. That's non-negotiable, Master Kenobi." Her voice softened slightly. "When Ahsoka wakes up, I'll send her in here. But for now, you need to rest and heal."

"Well, seeing as I can't actually leave the bed, I suppose I'll have to follow your directions," Obi-Wan said. "Would it be possible for someone to bring me a datapad? That way I can at least start on my official report of the mission."

"I'd much rather you actually rested, but if it'll keep you from trying to get out of bed, I'll take what I can get." Vokara Che said. "I'll send one of the padawans down to your quarters to get your datapad and bring it back to you later."

"Thank you, Master Che. I'll try not to be too awful of a patient for you." Obi-Wan said.

"That'll be the day." Vokara's tone was serious, but her lips twitched in a smile. Apparently satisfied that Obi-Wan was no longer about to try to bolt from the hospital wing, she headed toward the door.

"And Obi-Wan?" She turned over her shoulder as she stood in the doorway to speak to him. "I'm truely sorry about Anakin."

"Thank you, Vokara." Obi-Wan said, and she closed the door, leaving him alone.

 _Anakin._

Grief rolled through Obi-Wan, threatening to overwhelm him. While Vokara had been there, he'd been able to focus on their conversation, compartmentalizing the information that Anakin was dead. But now, with nothing to distract him, it truly hit him that Anakin – his best friend, the closest thing he had to a son or a brother – was _gone_ , lost to him forever. Tears welled in his eyes, and he let them spill down onto his cheeks. Anakin deserved his tears, he thought. Anakin had deserved so much better than to be murdered in some back alley of Coruscant. He'd always thought that Anakin would end up as a Master some day, would probably end up on the Council if he could ever grow up a little. But now he would never have the chance to.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure how long he wept over Anakin. It felt like both an eternity, and only a few moments later, when a knock on the door broke through his grief. Hurriedly, he tried to compose himself, using his free hand to brush away tears. He suspected he still looked as awful as he felt, but there wasn't much he could do about that at the moment.

"Come in," he called out, and the door opened to reveal a teenage pantoran girl in healer's robes clutching a datapad.

"Um, Master Che sent me to deliver this to you, Master Kenobi." The girl said.

"Yes, thank you, Padawan...?" Obi-Wan said, reaching for the datapad.

"Tacha Ora, Master." She crossed the room to hand him the 'pad, and seemed to take in his red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face.

"Are- are you all right, Master? I can get one of the full Healers if you need more medicine for the pain." She asked nervously.

"That won't be necessary, Padawan Ora. I'll be fine." A small lie, but it wasn't as through painkillers would help him through the pain of grief.

"Um...well, if you're sure, Master Kenobi. Is there anything else you need?" She asked.

"A pitcher of water would be splendid, if possible." He wasn't hungry - he usually wasn't, for a day or two after being seriously injured - but he was thirsty.

"Of course, Master. I'll get that for you now." She turned and left the room quickly, probably embarrassed by his visible distress.

By the time Tacha returned with a pitcher of water and a glass, Obi-Wan had gained a greater measure of composure over himself.

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said, indicating she could place them on the table beside his bed. After setting them down, she turned and walked back toward the door. She turned nervously back toward him when she stood in the doorway.

"Is...is there anything else I can do for you, Master?" She asked.

"No, I'll be fine. Thank you, Padawan Ora." She nodded quickly and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Unwilling to be alone with his thoughts again, Obi-Wan picked up the datapad. Typing with one hand was difficult, but he welcomed the distraction it gave him - it took his mind off Anakin and the pain in his leg. He was halfway through the report on the mess that had been the Takodana mission when a tall human male with black hair and a tan complexion stuck his head in the door.

"I'm Healer Tahlo Laka," he said. "Master Che sent me to start healing your leg." Laka entered the room, grabbing the chair that sat in the corner of the room and dragging it over to the bed.

"If it's all right, I'm going to unwrap the bandages so that I can begin the healing." Laka said, his tone clear and professional. "As Master Che may have mentioned, the damage to your leg is quite serious. There's severe burns on your thigh, and two blaster shots directly hit muscles in your calf. Much of the muscle mass was burned away by the blasts – that's what's going to take the longest to heal. The healing I do tonight will mainly focus on healing the burns and on stimulating the damaged tissue to promote growth. Nothing but time will be able to regrow the tissue, I'm afraid, and you'll have to come back for regular treatments." Obi-Wan nodded his assent, gritting his teeth against the flares of pain from his leg as Laka began to unwrap the bandages. Laka stopped, noticing his wincing.

"I'm going to put you into a healing trance, if that's okay with you," Laka said. "It'll be less painful for you, and easier for me to do my work."

"That's fine," Obi-Wan managed to say. Laka moved his hands from Obi-Wan's leg to place two fingers on each of Obi-Wan's temples.

"Just try to relax, Master Kenobi," Laka said. Obi-Wan tried to allow the tension to seep from his muscles, knowing it would make it easier for Laka to do his job. He felt Laka's unfamiliar presence brush up against his mind, and a moment later Obi-Wan was drifting in the expanses of the Force.

Hours – or minutes, time was difficult to tell in the Force – later, Obi-Wan felt Laka calling him back, and his mind slid out of the Force and back in to his body. His leg was once again wrapped in bandages, and it _hurt._ A thousand other aches were also beginning to make themselves known across his body. He guessed that this meant the painkillers had worn off by now.

"The burns on your thigh are mostly healed now, though the skin will continue to be delicate for another few weeks. The healing on the muscle damage is also begun, but you won't notice any difference for a week or two." Laka said. "I also worked on your collarbone – it was a clean break, so with the healing it should be all right in a day or two."

"Thank you very much, Master Laka." Obi-Wan said. "When will I be able to walk again?" Vokara had told him, but maybe this Healer would have a more optimistic answer. A slight grin touched the Healer's mouth for the first time since he'd entered the room.

"Master Che said that you would ask. My answer is the same as hers; you need to stay completely off that leg for a full day. I'd like you in a hoverchair for a week after that, and then you can switch to a crutch and a brace for another two to three weeks. There are no shortcuts in healing destroyed tissue, Master Kenobi." Laka said. Obi-Wan had to smile wryly at Vokara's foresight, even if he was disappointed by Laka's answer.

"I see." Obi-Wan said. Laka stood up from his chair.

"Well, unless there's anything else I can do for you, Master Kenobi, I'll take my leave."

"Of course," Obi-Wan said. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your other patients." Laka inclined his head toward Obi-Wan in gratitude, and then quickly left the room.

Now that his head was clearer, Obi-Wan went back through what he'd written so far in his report and was mildly annoyed to find a number of errors. _That's what you get for writing a report on painkillers,_ he thought to himself. At least Laka had said that he'd be able to use his arm in a few days. Not being able to walk was horrible, but not being able to walk and only having one functional arm was even worse. Sighing heavily, Obi-Wan continued typing out the report.

* * *

Ahsoka stood in front of the Council, hand clasped behind her back as she gave her verbal report of the Takodana mission. Normally, Master Kenobi would give the report as the General in charge of the mission, but Vokara Che had flatly refused to allow him to leave the hospital wing or for members of the Council to visit and debrief him for at least another day. As a result, Ahsoka had been summoned instead. Vokara Che hadn't liked that either, but since Ahsoka was physically completely healthy, and they couldn't detect any brain damage from the psychic backlash, there was nothing she could do about it. Ahsoka hadn't even been allowed to speak with Master Kenobi before she'd been ordered to come before the Council.

"So Takodana has gone over to the Separatists." Eeth Koth said grimly as Ahsoka finished. "This is troubling news."

"The planet has always been known for its neutrality. If they've chosen to actively side with the Separatists, other neutral systems may follow their example." Depa Billaba said. The other Councillors nodded, looking concerned. Ahsoka knew she should probably stay silent and allow them to discuss the implications of Takodana's actions on the war effort, but at the moment she had other concerns.

"Masters, what about Master Skywalker? Have the search teams...found anything yet?" She asked, knowing she was pushing her luck by doing so. The Council didn't like being interrupted by padawans, but she had to know.

"Nothing yet, Ahsoka." Plo Koon said. His breathing mask always made reading his tone a bit difficult, but she thought he sounded sympathetic. "You will be informed as soon as they report in with news."

"Another thing to discuss with you, this council has." Yoda said, tapping his gimmer stick on the floor. Ahsoka looked at him, confused.

Without a Master, you now are, Padawan. Choose a new Master, you must," Yoda said. "Ready for your Trials, you are not. More, you have to learn." Ahsoka gaped at him. Anakin wasn't even officially declared dead yet, and Yoda was already asking her to replace him?

"Master Yoda, please, I need to grieve for Anakin before I can make that decision. Please, don't make me choose now." She begged.

"Time is not something that we have in this war, Padawan Tano." Mace Windu said. "You're one of the most promising padawans in the Order. We can't afford to keep you out of the field for long." Any other time, the praise would have made Ahsoka beam with pride, but right now it felt empty and hollow.

"Please Masters, at least give me a few days. I'll decide after that, I promise." She said. The councilors glanced at each other, and finally Mace Windu nodded.

"You have three days, Padawan Tano. After that, you must find a Knight who is willing to train you for the remainder of your apprenticeship, and you will be deployed with them." He said.

"Thank you, Masters." She responded, bowing slightly.

"You are dismissed then, Padawan." Mace said. Ahsoka bowed again, and hurried out of the room. This time, she headed straight for Master Kenobi's room in the hospital wing. She barely managed to get in the room and wrap her arms around him before she began to cry.


	4. Better Off Dead

When Ahsoka stumbled into Obi-Wan's room and launched herself toward him, Obi-Wan was too startled to do anything more than put his arms around her as she began to sob. She sat on the edge of his bed and rested her forehead on his shoulder as she wept. Obi-Wan gritted his teeth to avoid crying out in agony as she leaned against his bad leg. He was much more willing to suffer through the pain than to push Ahsoka away, however. There was nothing to say, so Obi-Wan held her silently as she cried. He knew that no words would make the inescapable reality feel any better. Anakin was gone and he didn't know what either of them were going to do without him.

"I just-I can't believe he's really gone," she finally whispered, her sobs fading into hiccups. "He's _gone."_

"I know," Obi-Wan said, "I know."

Ahsoka clung to him for only a few minutes more before she pulled back, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Master Kenobi. I just-" She broke off, shaking her head as tears began to fill her eyes again.

"It's alright, Ahsoka. I miss him too." He said quietly. It was easier to hold himself together for Ahsoka than for his own sake.

"The Council...they told me that I have to choose a new master. But I _can't,_ Master Kenobi, not so soon after-" Her voice broke, and she left the statement unfinished. Obi-Wan frowned.  
"Three _days_?" He asked, horrified. "It's customary to give Padawans at least two weeks to mourn their Master's death before they must select a new Master, even considering the war. What are they thinking?" Ahsoka just shook her head, and buried her face in his shoulder again. He tightened his grasp around her.

"I'll talk to them – there's absolutely no reason for them to make you choose so soon." He said reassuringly. "And...when you're ready to decide...if you'd like, I would be honored to be your master." He practically was a second master to her already, with the amount of time that he and Anakin had been assigned to work together. Transitioning between Masters – especially after a death – was never easy for a Padawan, but becoming Obi-Wan's apprentice would probably be the least painful transition possible for Ahsoka. Ahsoka finally pulled back from Obi-Wan, swiping away the tears in her eyes. She smiled weakly.

"Thank you, Master Kenobi. I...I can't decide now, but thank you." She said, her voice shaking. She stayed for a while longer, describing what had happened on Takodana after Obi-Wan had fallen unconscious. He was deeply saddened to hear that three clones had died getting him back to the shift safely – they were his men, he was supposed to protect them, not the other way around. As soon as he was able, he promised himself he would visit the 212th's barracks to thank the men who had rescued him, and to pay his respects to the ones who had died in the attempt.

Eventually, Ahsoka had to leave – with Anakin gone, there were several logistical matters regarding the 501st that she had to deal with – leaving Obi-Wan alone once again. A few minutes after Ahsoka left, Obi-Wan grabbed the comm link sitting on the table beside his bed and entered Mace Windu's frequency.

"Care to inform me why in the name of the Force the Council gave Ahsoka _three days_ to choose a new Master?" He said in lieu of a greeting.

"Hello to you too, Obi-Wan. Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Obi-Wan was in no mood for Mace's sarcasm.

"Mace, she ran into my room _crying._ What was the Council thinking?" He heard Mace sigh.

"There's a lot to catch you up on, and it will be easier to do in person. Are you still in the Halls of Healing?" Mace asked.

"Yes, Vokara isn't letting me leave for another day at least." Obi-Wan said.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Mace said, ending the call. Obi-Wan absently picked up his datapad, and continued typing out his report until the door opened without warning to reveal Mace. He entered the room and sat in the chair beside Obi-Wan's bed.

"Force, you look awful." Mace said.

"So kind of you to say so, Mace." Obi-Wan said, raising an eyebrow. "So what the hell were you all thinking?"

"The Chancellor's been putting pressure on us ever since Anakin vanished, Obi-Wan. I don't know how he knew about Anakin's death since we still haven't officially declared him dead, but as soon as you and Ahsoka got back, he's been insisting we send you back in the field. He says it will 'boost morale' and 'assure the people of the Republic that the war effort will still go on even without the war's greatest hero.'" From his sarcastic tone, Obi-Wan guessed that Mace was directly quoting the Chancellor. "In your case, the severity of your injuries gave us a reason to hold him off, but for Ahsoka...your injuries only made him more insistent that we send her out again as soon as possible."

"And the Council is allowing him to dictate what we do with our Padawans? Force, Mace, I know the Chancellor has been grasping for more and more power, but surely he can't _do_ this-."

"Obi-Wan, he wanted Ahsoka to be promoted to General and knighted." Mace's words and the flat tone they were delivered in stopped Obi-Wan cold. "He wanted her to take Anakin's place, since the 501st and the public are both already familiar with her. Sending her out this quickly with a new Master was a compromise to get him to back off."

"But she's only seventeen! Even _Anakin_ wasn't knighted until he was nineteen, and he was the youngest knight in a century." Obi-Wan said, stunned. "Knighting padawans has always been a decision that was strictly up to the Council. How in the Force did the Chancellor try to argue that it was any of his concern?"

"He said that the Grand Army of the Republic was under the control of the Senate, and as an officer in the army Ahsoka fell under his jurisdiction." Mace said.

"Force. Will the Senate back him up in all this?" Obi-Wan asked. "You spend more time dealing with politicians than I do."

"I don't know, Obi-Wan. The majority of the Senate has been worshiping every word Chancellor Palpatine's said recently, and there's many of them who would love to have more direct control over the Order. So far, we've avoided having to refuse a direct order from the Chancellor. We don't know what would happen if we did, and frankly, the Order cannot afford to alienate itself from the Senate. We can't fight both the Separatists and the Republic." Mace said, sounding tired. Obi-Wan rested his head on his good hand.

"Damn. When did things get this bad?" Obi-Wan asked rhetorically. Mace answered anyway.

"You've been away on missions for most of the past several months. It's been getting steadily worse, but the Chancellor has never pressed this hard before." Mace rested a hand against his temples, as if trying to ward off a building migraine. "I'm afraid that Anakin's death may be a turning point for the Order's relationship with the Senate. Little as I like to admit it, Anakin's friendship with the Chancellor may have been the only thing holding him off from trying to control us more directly."

"This feels _wrong_ , Mace. I sense that there's more going on here than we can see." Obi-Wan said.

"I do too, Obi-Wan, but for now there's nothing we can do other than try to appease the Chancellor." Mace said, sounding resigned.

"I offered to take Ahsoka as my apprentice, you know," Obi-Wan remarked. Mace stared at him.

"Damn it Obi-Wan, you have a talent for making things difficult for yourself, don't you?" He asked. Obi-Wan didn't bother answering. "Did she accept?"

"No," Obi-Wan said. "She needed more time to accept Anakin's death before she could decide." Mace's glare diminished slightly.

"Do you realize what kind of position the Council will be in if she does accept? You're Temple-bound for the next month at least. As your apprentice, she would be as well. The Council will either have to tell the Chancellor she won't be able to go back into the field after all, or they'll have to separate her from her new Master and send her out into the field with another knight."

"If we refuse Palpatine, we run the risk of Palpatine ordering us to send her into the field. If we send her into the field of our own accord, we'll break the Order's customs regarding keeping padawans and new masters together and risk Ahsoka's already damaged mental and emotional state." Obi-Wan said quietly. "It's an impossible position."

"It certainly is. Force, Obi-Wan, you couldn't have waited an _hour_ longer to hear about the current situation before you offered to take her on?" Obi-Wan began to reply, but Mace waved off his response. "It doesn't matter now. Plo Koon is also planning to offer to take her as an apprentice. With any luck, she'll chose him, and we'll be spared this mess."

"It's still her decision, Mace. Politics or not, the Council can't take that away from her." Obi-Wan said.

"I kriffing _know_ that, Obi-Wan." Mace snapped. Then he sighed. "Just...be careful. Don't let your emotions in this matter blind you to the implications of your actions."

"I won't, Mace. But the Council has to draw a line somewhere with the Chancellor. If we don't...there's no telling what we'll become." Obi-Wan said.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Mace said. Abruptly, he stood up. "I should go. Vokara made me swear that I wouldn't stay long before she would let me in here." Obi-Wan smiled wryly.

"Of course she did. Thank you for telling me about everything that's happened." He said.

"May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan." Mace said as he walked to the door. As the door closed, Obi-Wan heard him mutter, "You're going to need it."

* * *

For most of the rest of the day, Obi-Wan was left to his own devices. At one point, Tacha Ora came back with a tray of food for him. He wasn't the slightest bit hungry, but he knew Vokara would scold him if he didn't eat, so he picked at the plate. Eventually, he fell into a restless sleep. After he had slept for only a few hours, however, he was woken up by his comlink beeping on the table next to him. He groped for it with his good hand and switched it on.

"Kenobi," He said into it blearily.

"We need you in the Council chambers," Mace Windu said without preamble. "We've just received a rather disturbing transmission, and the Council is convening to discuss it."

"Mace, I can't walk. I can't even get out of bed, let alone make it to the Council chambers."

"Vokara Che is on her way with hover chair now. It's about Anakin, Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan's heart seemed to stop at the mention of Anakin.  
"I'll be there as soon as I can," Obi-Wan said, and ended the call. Unfortunately, this meant that he was left alone with his thoughts until Vokara arrived with the hover chair. During the call, Mace had sounded...not shaken, not exactly – Obi-Wan didn't think any development would actually be able to actually shake Mace Windu – but he had sounded….perhaps perturbed was the right word. There weren't many things in the galaxy that could surprise Mace, and the fact that it had to do with Anakin...well, if Obi-Wan was honest with himself, it scared him. What horrific manner of death had the Jedi investigation found?

Finally, the door to his room opened to reveal Vokara pushing a hover chair.

"I'd like you to know, Obi-Wan, that I strongly protested against this," She said, clearly irritated. "I would have very much prefered for your leg to not be moved for at least another twelve to twenty-four hours. Master Windu absolutely _insisted_ that you be at this Council meeting, however, so you'll be going in a hover chair. _Do not_ at any point try to walk, you'll only increase the damage to your leg and lengthen your recovery time. And you are to report back to the Halls of Healing as soon as the meeting is over – your leg will need another healing session before we can release you for good, and I'll need to take another look at your arm-"

"I'll be back, Vokara," Obi-Wan said, cutting off Vokara's rant without any of his usual sarcasm. She looked at him in surprise. "Mace said the meeting is about Anakin," he said, to answer her unasked question. The irritated look slid off her face.

"Force, I'm sorry, Obi-Wan." She said. He shrugged, the movement lopsided due to his broken collarbone. There really wasn't anything else he had to say about the meeting.

"I'll help you into the chair, then." Vokara said. "I don't want you moving that leg any more than you absolutely have to." Pushing the chair to the edge of the bed, she moved to help Obi-Wan disentangle his leg from the bed's blankets. She then backed up and closed her eyes, extending a hand with an expression of intense concentration on her face. Obi-Wan felt himself being slowly lifted up off the bed, and moved through the air to be set down gently onto the cushioned chair. He grimaced as he was set down – he disliked the feeling of being held by nothing but the Force when he wasn't the one in control of it.

"Controls for the chair are by your left hand," Vokara said. "I assume you'd rather pilot the chair on your own?"

"Yes, thank you Vokara." Obi-Wan said, gingerly trying out the controls to get a feel for them. Since he'd be stuck with this thing for at least a week, he made a mental note to ask Hronda – a friend of his who had been hover chair bound ever since an illness contracted as a youngling had cost her the use of her legs – for advice on how to navigate the Temple's many levels while in a chair. Since the Council chambers were on the same floor as his room in the Halls of Healing, he doubted it would be an issue tonight, but it would probably come up later in the week. Cautiously, he moved the chair forward, toward the door and out of the room. He was grateful for the fact that the halls were nearly empty – a side effect of the late hour – since it meant he didn't have to navigate his way around people as well as the halls themselves. When he finally made it to the Council chambers, he was the last one to arrive. It would have been ludicrous to try to get himself out of the hover chair and into the Council chair that he normally claimed, so he simply wheeled the hover chair in front his seat and remained in the chair. Mace waited a moment to make sure he was settled, and then spoke.

"Now that we're all here," he said, looking out at the Jedi – some there physically, and some there only as holograms, "An hour ago, the following message from Garos IV was received by one of the Temple communication monitors. She immediately alerted myself and Master Yoda about its contents, and after watching it...well, you'll see why we believed it to be necessary that the full Council reviews it." As Mace spoke, he tapped a button on the side of his chair, and a hologram of a clone in armor sprang to life in the middle of the room.

"Generals, we urgently request backup. At least a hundred of my men are dead, and more are wounded...General Skywalker led us into a trap-" the sound of blasters could be heard from the message, and the clone broke off his message and turned around briefly to return fire. Obi-Wan's mind was caught on the word "Skywalker." _How…? Anakin was on Coruscant, he couldn't have been on Garos IV…_

The clone's message wasn't finished though. After a few moments, he lowered his blaster and turned back to the transmitter.

"We were betrayed, Generals. General Skywalker led us into a Separatist ambush, and then began attacking my men alongside the droids. He-" The clone's voice cut off as a blur swept across the hologram, neatly severing the clone's head from his shoulders. As the clone's body crumpled, another figure stepped into view, leaning down presumably to turn the hologram off. Even through the blue light of the hologram, the new figure looked to be in horrible physical condition. His long hair was greasy and hung unkempt around his face, and his eyes were dark and lifeless. Even stranger, a curling dark symbol – a half circle crossed through with three curving lines – marred his right cheek. If the figure hadn't been moving, Obi-Wan probably would have mistaken it for a corpse.

It took him a moment to recognize it was Anakin.

Obi-Wan couldn't breath. For a moment, pure joy swept through him – Anakin was _alive,_ and the proof of it was right in front of him. Horror beat the joy back, however, as the implications of the message he'd just seen hit him. Anakin was alive, but in what state? What had happened that could have caused Anakin to slaughter his own men?

"How can he be alive?" Obi-Wan's voice was choked and hoarse . "I _felt_ his death. _Ahsoka_ felt his death."

"Clearly, you both were mistaken." Agen Kolar said dryly. "Knight Skywalker is obviously quite alive and well, considering his actions in betraying the Republic." Obi-Wan fought back a surge of anger. Kolar had always been vocal in his distrust of Anakin, and it seemed that the master's disdain had not decreased after news of Anakin's death.

"It's likely that Skywalker has been tortured or coerced into serving the Separatists." Kit Fisto's hologram flickered as he spoke. "He showed no signs of the Dark Side when last we spoke several days ago."

"A Jedi isn't broken in a day, Master Fisto," Agen Kolar argued. "Skywalker was last seen on Coruscant less than than forty-eight hours ago. Even Dooku could not have tortured him into submission so quickly." Obi-Wan watched numbly as arguments began to break out among the other Council members. Part of him was screaming that Anakin wasn't a traitor, could not be a traitor, and everyone on the Council needed to know that. The rest of him was frozen, unable to move or say anything. Anakin was dead – but he wasn't. He was alive, and the Separatists had him, and they had to save him-

A sharp wooden rapping noise silenced the arguing Masters. Yoda stood up from his chair, his gimer stick resting on the floor.

"Coercion this is not. Betrayal, this is not." He said.

"But Master-" Kolar began to argue until Yoda's glare silenced him.

"Recognize the tattoo on Skywalker's cheek, I do. The symbol of Ataraxia, it is." Yoda said darkly. Dead silence filled the Council room for a moment, and then-

"Master, that's impossible!" Saesee Tiin exclaimed. "Ataraxia has not been used for over two thousand years. The knowledge of how to perform the ceremony has been lost for centuries."

"Lost to the Jedi, perhaps." Yoda said. "Lost to the Sith, it were not. Powerful, Dooku has grown. Possible it is that found an ancient holocron, he has."

"It would explain why Master Kenobi and Padawan Tano suffered so much psychic backlash. Ataraxia breaks any Force-bonds the victim has." Mace Windu said thoughtfully.

"It would also explain the sudden reverse in Skywalker's allegiances." Ki-Adi-Mundi said. Obi-Wan was still frozen, unable to believe or comprehend what Yoda had said. Ataraxia was an abomination, a violation of the Force. It was a fate that was considered by many Jedi historians to be worse than death. For Anakin to have suffered such a fate was unthinkable, and yet that was the truth that was staring him in the face. As Obi-Wan struggled to come to terms with this, the Council's conversation moved on without him.

"The Senate won't take it lightly that one of us – let alone such a notable and publically known Jedi – has gone rogue. We must stop Skywalker before he inflicts more damage on others," Ki-Adi-Mundi said.

"We'll assemble a team of Jedi Masters to search for Skywalker and stop him, by any means necessary." Most of the Council nodded at Mace Windu's words.

"Masters, you can't really mean that! Anakin is a Jedi, and we do not kill our own." Obi-Wan's voice was choked and hoarse, but he finally managed to speak.

"Obi-Wan, you know that there is no way to save someone from Ataraxia," Plo Koon said. "Anakin Skywalker's body may still be breathing, but the Anakin you trained is dead."

"You know know Skywalker better than any of us; can you really say that he would not rather be dead than enslaved by the Sith?" Mace asked. There was nothing Obi-Wan could say to that, and so he only shook his head in silence as plans were made for the hunting – and potential death – of the man who was both brother and son to him.

* * *

Once it was decided which Jedi would be sent to hunt Anakin, the Council meeting was dismissed. Obi-Wan was almost grateful for the hover chair, because even if his legs had been functional, he wouldn't have trusted them to support him right now. He was one of the first Council members out of the chamber's doors. He thought he heard Mace call his name, but he ignored him – he didn't really feel like speaking to any of his fellow Councillors right now – and hoped that Mace would take the hint. Luckily, he did, and Obi-Wan continued to move alone down the empty hallway.

Ahsoka. He had to tell Ahsoka. The thought broke through the fog that had taken over his mind ever since he had seen the holo. Ahsoka deserved to know that her Master was alive, and yet worse than dead. Without consciously trying to, Obi-Wan found himself moving down the hallways that led to the quarters that had formerly been shared by Anakin and Ahsoka. He knew it was the middle of the night, and Ahsoka was probably asleep, but he simply couldn't wait. Vokara would insist that he return to the Halls of Healing for at least another day, and he would prefer what he was about to say to not be overheard. He pressed the buzzer on the door panel that alerted the occupant to visitors without opening the door. Several moments later, the door slid open to reveal Ahsoka. Her eyes were puffy and red, as though she'd been crying.

"I have...news." He said, uncertain on how to begin. "About….about Anakin." Ahsoka's eyes widened, and she stepped back from the door to allow Obi-Wan's chair to glide through the doorway. She led him to the chamber's small sitting room, where she sat down on the cramped couch in the corner of the room. Anakin's Force-presence hadn't quite faded yet from the room, and Obi-Wan could feel it as though it was a ghost - which in some ways, he supposed it was.

"Have you ever heard of Ataraxia?" He asked Ahsoka. She blinked. Clearly, that wasn't what she had expected him to say.

"No, I haven't, Master Kenobi," She said, sounding impatient.

"It's a practice of the ancient Sith used to control Force-Sensitive beings. The Sith literally pours the Force into the victim's mind to overwhelm them. The Force acts as a drug, creating a state of euphoria for the victim that completely numbs them to the world around them. The Sith can then control the victim's body as they please. The victim becomes a puppet of the Sith, and their lightsaber, if they have one, turns gray due to their confused connection with the Force. It's not surprising that you've never heard of it – until today, there hadn't been an instance of it for two thousand years." Obi-Wan said.

"Until today?" Ahsoka asked, her voice a whisper.

"The Council received a message from a clone on Garos IV...Anakin is alive, Ahsoka, but Dooku is controlling him." Obi-Wan said. Ahsoka's face crumpled.

"No," she whispered. "No, that's not possible. Skyguy wouldn't...Anakin would fight it, he wouldn't let Dooku-"

"I watched him kill one of his own men, Ahsoka. Dooku has him." He hated to say it, hated to put her through this, but she deserved to know. This time, she didn't cry. Obi-Wan almost wished she would, because anything would be better than the cold, hard look on her face.

"We're going to get him back," Obi-Wan said. "There's no known cure for Ataraxia, but I plan to spend every minute of my medical leave researching it. If there's a way to save Anakin, I'll find it." Hope began to dawn in Ahsoka's eyes.

"I'll help you." She said resolutely. "Even though Anakin is alive...I'm sure the Council will still want me to choose another Master. If you're my master, then I'll be given leave for as long as you are. I can help you research. That is...if you'd still be willing to take me as an apprentice," she said, suddenly uncertain.

"Of course I'm still willing to take you." Obi-Wan said. "And I'm sure I'll need the help. Uncovering information on Ataraxia won't be easy. We'll have to sift through most of the information the Order has stored on the Sith to find anything." It was a daunting task. There was no list of files that contained information on Ataraxia - it was too obscure of a topic to be catalogued - and the Order kept extensive records on the ancient Sith. Most of the files were heavily restricted, but as a council member Obi-Wan had access to nearly all of them.

"We can do it," Ahsoka said, somewhat grimly. "Anakin would never forgive us if we left him to be controlled by the Sith."

"No, he wouldn't." Obi-Wan agreed, equally serious. He didn't say it aloud, but he knew they were both thinking it: Anakin would rather be dead than live under the Sith's control. "We'll save him, Ahsoka." He said, because he didn't want to think about the consequences if they couldn't.

* * *

 **Hey look at that, I actually managed to post a chapter within a decent time frame. Chapter 4 has not been started, however, so it probably won't be this fast. I'm doing my best to avoid giving actual deadlines/time estimates, because that...historically has not worked well for me. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	5. Even Worse News

Author's note: So here's a recap of the story so far, since it's been a while:

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were on a mission fighting Separatists when they both collapsed without warning. Ahsoka is otherwise unharmed by this, but Obi-Wan suffered numerous injuries including a leg injury that keeps him hoverchair bound at the moment. Their collapse is due to the fact that their Force-bonds with Anakin have been broken; initially this is believed to be due to Anakin's death, but it is then discovered that Anakin is being mind controlled by a Sith Lord (who is assumed to be Dooku, since Anakin is currently fighting for the Separatists). Last chapter ended with Obi-Wan telling Ahoska this, and Ahsoka deciding to accept Obi-Wan's offer of being her Master until they can save Anakin. The pairing has not been made official, however.

* * *

The sound of a door buzzer dragged Ahsoka from sleep only a few hours after she'd finally drifted off. Half-awake, she contemplated ignoring whoever was at the door and pretending she wasn't there. When the buzzer sounded again, she realized that probably wasn't going to be an option.

"Just a minute!" She yelled, trying and failing to not sound grumpy. As she grabbed a shirt at random from the floor - unlike most masters, Anakin had never been a stickler for neat quarters - she glanced at the chrono on the wall and cursed as she realized slept through two of her morning classes. Rummaging around in a pile of clothing next to her bed, she pulled out a pair of leggings and tugged them on. She then stumbled to the front door of the quarters and pressed the button beside the door. It slid open to reveal Plo Koon.

"May I come in, Soka?" He asked, glancing over her and taking in her rumpled and bleary-eyed appearance.

"Of course, Master Plo. You know you're always welcome." She said, surprise beginning to overcome her sleepiness. Though Plo Koon always made a point to spend time with her when they were both on Coruscant at the same time, she couldn't remember a time where he'd come to her and Anakin's quarters. Usually, he would just "happen to run into her" in the mess hall, or the Room of a Thousand Fountains, or anywhere else in the Temple. She'd always suspected Master Plo opted for "accidental" encounters rather than intentional ones to avoid making it look like he was trying to usurp Anakin's authority over her, but she'd never quite had the nerve to ask. But now, here he was, sitting opposite from her in the apartment's tiny living room.

"How are you doing, Ahsoka?" He asked her, after initial pleasantries had been exchanged.

"I'm-" She opened her mouth to say fine, and then closed it again. Master Plo wouldn't be one to judge her for lacking the constant serenity a Jedi was supposed to have in all circumstances. "I'm tired, Master Plo. The past few days...well, they've been a lot."

"Too much has been demanded of you for any padawan, even a senior one," he said. "You should not have been asked to choose a new master so soon after what happened to Master Skywalker. The Council had its reasons for the decision, but that doesn't make it right."

"Thank you, Master Plo, but I understand. The war doesn't stop for grief." She said.

"No, but perhaps it should." He said. He shook his head when Ahsoka stared at him, uncomprehending. "It's not important. Soka, I came here to offer to take you on as my apprentice, if you would have have me as a master." At this, Ahsoka sat bolt upright in surprise. This was something she hadn't expected. She'd always assumed that when she'd been assigned to be Anakin's padawan, it had been because no other Master had wanted her - more specifically, because Plo Koon hadn't wanted her. Master Plo was a master of the Living Force, and an incredibly empathetic being. With the war going on, she'd thought that he hadn't wanted to limit himself to taking care of a single apprentice when there were so many other beings - clones, other Jedi, and civilians alike - that he could help otherwise. It had stung, a little, at the time - she and Master Plo had always been close, and she hadn't been the only one who'd assumed that he would take her as a padawan when she came of age. But she'd moved on from that, once she'd realized that just because Master Plo wasn't her master didn't mean that their friendship couldn't be important anymore. But now...now he did want her as a padawan? She realized he'd continued to speak, and she'd been staring at him blankly.

"I'm sorry, Master Plo. I'm just...surprised. I didn't think...I accepted Master Kenobi's offer of taking me on yesterday." Ahsoka said, words spilling out of her mouth before she had the chance to think them though. It was always hard to read the expression of a Kel Dor wearing a face mask, but Ahsoka knew Plo Koon well enough to tell that he was surprised, and perhaps slightly dismayed by this news.

"You know that Kenobi will be recovering from his injuries for the next month at least." Master Plo said, his tone even flatter than it normally was. "He is in no shape to train an apprentice at the moment." Ahsoka stared at him in surprise yet again. She'd never heard him criticize another master before, let alone another counselor. She thought she could see shame in his expression a moment later.

"I'm sorry, little Soka." He said, more normally. "I shouldn't have said that, especially if you've already accepted his offer. But I am...concerned about Master Kenobi's motives for taking you as a padawan. If he is doing so out of a misplaced sense of guilt over what happened to Skywalker…" Plo let the thought trail off. "I am not certain that the rest of the Council will approve the pairing, especially since you both are grieving for Master Skywalker."

"Master Plo, you can't grieve for someone who isn't dead. Even with what's happened, there's still a chance-" She cut herself off as her sleep-deprived brain registered too late that she probably wasn't supposed to know about the transmission that had been sent to the Council.

"Kenobi told you." Plo said, resignation in his voice. "Force, Soka, did he come here immediately after he left the Council meeting? It was the middle of the night!"

"He didn't think Master Che would let him leave the Halls of Healing again, and he wanted to be the one to tell me," Ahsoka mumbled.

"Skywalker's body may still be moving, but your Master is gone, Ahsoka. Both you and Kenobi must accept that. There is no cure for Ataraxia." Plo said, his voice softening.

"I can't just give up on him, Master Plo." Ahsoka said pleadingly.

"The war has made us do many things we'd rather not do, Soka. This will not be the last difficult thing that is asked of you. You must let Anakin go." Plo stood as he said it. "Meditate on it, Ahsoka. Think about my offer. I care about you and Obi-Wan too much to let you both drag each other down in grief."

Ahsoka stood as well. "I will. And thank you, Master, for offering. It..it means a lot to me, even if I don't accept." Plo nodded, and left her with one final comment.

"Be careful, little Soka. This is too important of a decision for you to make emotionally."

"I'll do my best to meditate on it, Master Plo." She said, not quite looking at him. He didn't look completely satisfied with her answer, but left her quarters anyway, telling her that no matter what her choice was, his doors were always open if she needed anything. As soon as the door closed behind him, Ahsoka had to fight back tears. It was all so much; what had happened to Anakin, Master Kenobi's injuries, offers from both Master Kenobi and Master Plo. On top of that, she hadn't spoken to Rex since before the disaster on Takodana, she was missing classes, there were supply reports for the 501st that she was supposed to sign off on...she couldn't face anyone, not yet. She changed the door setting so that it would appear to the casual observer that she was out of the room, and then crawled back into bed. Maybe things would seem better after a few more hours of sleep.

* * *

On the other side of the Temple, Obi-Wan Kenobi was being released from the Halls of Healing with dire threats to stay of his leg for the next few days, "or I'll keep you here for an entire month" from Vokara Che. Obi-Wan headed straight toward the Archives on the other side of the Temple. Regrettably, this meant he had to pass by what felt like half the Order on the way there. Whispers and muttered comments followed him throughout the halls, though he did his best to ignore them.

"Is that Master Kenobi?"

"...his leg…"

"...do you think...permanent?"

"...Skywalker vanished…"

"...happened to him?"

By the time he made it to the Archives, it was very, very difficult to keep a polite mask in place.

"Force, Obi-Wan, what happened to you?" Jocasta Nu asked him in lieu of a greeting.

"I had a minor disagreement with a couple hundred Separatist droids on Takodana," he said ruefully, grinning slightly.

"Force," she said again, shaking her head. "What brings you to the Archives?"

"Since I'll be out of the field for the next few weeks, I thought I might as well enjoy my down time." Obi-Wan gestured to the shelves of files around him. "I've wanted to do some research on the Jedi Order of the Old Republic for quite some time now." It was a carefully constructed lie. It was believable enough - before the war, it had been common for Jedi Masters to do similar research when they weren't off on missions. Besides that, anyone who knew him knew that Obi-Wan hated to be idle, and would be desperate to do something during his weeks of medical leave. It would surprise no one that Obi-Wan was spending his free time researching Jedi dead centuries ago.

Jocasta Nu smiled, clearly pleased someone was making use of the Archive's resources. "Well, I can collect some files that might contain information you're looking for. You might also get something useful from Aloria's holocron in the Vault."

"Thank you, Master Nu." Obi-Wan said, directing his chair toward the Vault. After he keyed in his personal code, the door to the Vault slid open. It was a small, enclosed space barely wide enough for the chair. Carefully, so as not to knock anything over, Obi-Wan maneuvered the chair to the back of the Vault, where the holocrons were stored. They were laid out on a shelf, carefully catalogued by name of owner and approximate date of creation. Obi-Wan scanned them, searching for the one Jocasta Nu had suggested. It was toward the back of the shelf - a golden cube with a tiny, neat label "Jedi Master Aloria, Old Republic, Post-Jedi-Mandalorian War era." As he slipped the holocron into his pocket, his eyes caught on the triangular red holocron that sat beside it. "Darth Malev, Old Republic, pre-Jedi-Sith War era." It was from the right time period, he thought. And there was no place better to find information about a Sith ability than from the Sith themselves. Quickly, before he could convince himself otherwise, Obi-Wan grabbed the holocron and thrust it into his other pocket.

When Obi-Wan got back to his quarters and set the box of datacards Jocasta Nu had given him on the counter in his small kitchen, he locked the door and pulled the two holocrons out of his pocket. They looked innocent, glowing softly while sitting on his dresser. Much more innocent than dangerous things had any right to look.

Holocrons were a data storage item unique to Force-Sensitive individuals, since the information they contained could only be accessed through use of the Force. Modern Jedi holocrons were nothing more than that - memory cores used to hold important data securely, or vessels to hold information that Masters wanted to pass down to their apprentices. Ancient holocrons, however, were something entirely different. A thousand years ago, Force-users - both Light and Dark - had been trained in the art of storing not only data, but copies of their own souls in holocrons. The result was a semi-sentient interface that was able to interact with whoever accessed the holocron, and guide them toward the holocron's information in a manner consistent with what the holocron's creator would have wanted. This was what made Sith holocrons so dangerous, and generally forbidden to Jedi; the holocrons contained not only knowledge of the Dark Side, but also a malevolent force that would do its best to tempt a Light-sider into using it. It was why only members of the Council and Jedi Masters with permission of the Council were allowed inside the Vault, and why it was customary to inform Jocasta Nu any time holocrons were removed from the Vault. It was also why Obi-Wan hadn't told her he was taking it.

Twenty years ago, it would have been perfectly reasonable for him to take a Sith holocron for the purpose of research. He was a Master on the Council, and accordingly should have been able to resist the petty temptation of any holocron. But that had been before Dooku - an acclaimed Jedi Master in his own right - had left the Order, disappeared for a number of years, and then re-emerged as a Sith. And before Pong Krell had turned toward the Dark Side and against his own men for reasons that, over a year later, the Council still couldn't determine. These events - combined with the heavy fog that seemed to have fallen over the Force, dimming the senses of all Jedi - meant that now, anyone who expressed any interest in anything related to the Sith, even a purely academic interest, was quietly but thoroughly watched. And if Obi-Wan expressed such an interest right after he'd lost Anakin to the Sith...it would have looked very bad. The council would very quickly realize that he was researching Ataraxia, not writing an academic paper, and they would almost certainly try to make him stop. They'd definitely forbid him from training Ahsoka. He couldn't take the risk.

It was unlikely that his deception would be discovered. Since the war had started, it was rare that anyone went into the Vault, and even more rare for anyone to catalogue it carefully; everyone who had the rank to do so was simply too busy with the war effort. And the holocron was only meant as a last resort anyway. It was likely that some of the files that Jocasta Nu gave him would contain information on Ataraxia, or that the Jedi holocron would. But if both of those failed him, a Sith holocron might be the only thing that contained the information he needed to save Anakin.

He sincerely hoped it wouldn't come to that. Opening a drawer at random, he shoved the Sith holocron into the very back, behind rows of neatly folded tunics. Grabbing a datapad, he moved back into the kitchen and plugged one of the datacards into the 'pad. He selected a file off the card, and began to read.

* * *

Six days later, Padme Amidala sat at her desk in her Senate office, reviewing legislature that had come up in the week's Senate session. This was one of the most exhausting parts of her job, she reflected, setting her datapad down for a moment to take a sip of caff. Trying to discern the meaning behind the legal jargon of suggested bills was exhausting in and of itself, but looking for the inevitable built-in loopholes and double-edged clauses made the process even worse, and Padme could feel the beginnings of a migraine stirring behind her temples. When a quiet knock sounded on her door, it was a relief to be able to turn the datapad off and call for them to come it. She was surprised to see Dorme enter, looking rattled. Dorme never looked rattled, none of her handmaidens ever did. Padme stood quickly, frowning.

"Dorme, what's happened?" She asked.

"My lady, have you- have you seen the holonews?" Dorme asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"No, I've been reading through bills all day- Dorme, what's wrong? Who's dead?" It was the only explanation for Dorme's state. Names began running through her head. "Is it Bail? Or Mon? Or…" She stopped as Dorme began fervently shaking her head.

"No one's dead, my lady, but…" She handed Padme a small pocket holoprojector. "You should see it for yourself." Padme clicked the projector on, and an image of a well-known newscaster appeared.

"In a shocking development, security camera footage from a government building on Kuat revealed Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, more commonly known as "The Hero With No Fear," leading a Separatist attack. Skywalker was responsible for the deaths of senators Onara Kuat and Giddean Danu, as well as the deaths of most of the ruling council of Kuat. Neither the Jedi Council or the Chancellor's Office have released information regarding what could have caused Skywalker's change in allegiance, but an anonymous source from the Senate told us that they've suspected that there was a Separatist spy within the Jedi Order for months, and that Skywalker's actions are confirming their suspicions." The man continued talking after that, but Padme didn't hear him. _Anakin, a Separatist spy?_ It was impossible. It was laughably impossible. Being a Jedi was the core of who Anakin was - the idea of him throwing it away to join the Separatist was ludicrous. Padme turned to Dorme.

"They're lying, this can't be possible. I knew that the gossip magazines have been getting out of hand, but false accusations of treason are too far, even for them-" Padme began, but Dorme interrupted her.

"That's what I thought at first, my lady, but...there's footage." She gestured to the holoprojector, which was indeed displaying footage of what Padme recognized as the capitol building in Kuat City. Droids were marching through the building's courtyard in ranks, shooting anything that moved. And at their head marched a hooded figure holding a lightsaber. They casually turned back blaster fire that came their way, their lightsaber moving almost mechanically in its speed. The figure ducked to avoid a burst of sparks, and their hood fell back in the process. Padme's stomach lurched as it did, because there was no mistaking that the figure was Anakin. He had a strange tattoo on his cheek, and he was wearing armor of a style she hadn't seen before, but it was Anakin all the same. Anakin, leading battle droids, _Anakin,_ deflecting blaster bolts back toward innocent people...hurriedly, Padme reached forward and turned the projector off.

"My lady…" Dorme began, but Padme cut her off.

"I need to make a call." she said abruptly. Dorme must have heard the warning in her tone, because she bowed slightly and left. Once the door closed behind her, Padme picked up the comlink on her desk and dialed in Obi-Wan's code. Technically, she wasn't supposed to know it, but Anakin had insisted that she memorize it along with his code in case of emergencies.

"This is General Kenobi." Obi-Wan's voice came through her comlink a moment later.

"Is it true?" She demanded.

"Padme?" He asked, sounding confused. "What are you talk-"

"The footage on the holonews." She said, her voice clear and detached. "Is it real?"

"Padme, I don't understand. What footage-"

"The footage of Anakin leading Separatist forces in Kuat City." She said, and she heard Obi-Wan inhale sharply.

"Can you get to Jedi Temple without being seen?" He asked, his voice strained. "This- I can't leave the Temple at the moment, and this isn't a conversation I can have over a comm."

"Yes- I can switch places with one of my handmaidens." Padme replied automatically. "But won't I be noticed when I enter the Temple?"

"There's a back entrance that opens near my quarters." Obi-Wan said. "I can give you directions for how to get there, and how to get to my quarters from there. If you move quickly, it's likely you won't be noticed by anyone." He described the back entrance, and the path that she would have to take. Padme focused on committing the instructions to memory - directions like that weren't safe to write down. Twenty minutes later, she stood in front of Obi-Wan Kenobi's rooms in the Jedi Temple. When the door slid open, she noticed with surprise that she was looking down at Obi-Wan sitting in a hoverchair. He smiled slightly when he saw her stare.

"They'll let me out of this thing tomorrow, but I'll be on crutches for a while after that," he said. "This is why I can't leave the Temple at the moment."

"What happened?" She asked, shocked. As far as she'd seen, Jedi rarely got themselves seriously injured - certainly not to the degree that Obi-Wan currently was. He shook his head dismissively.

"I took a few too many blaster shots to the leg. I'll be back to normal in a few weeks." He moved his chair backwards, indicating that she should come in. "I saw the footage of Anakin, Padme. I'm so sorry you had to see that." Padme stepped into the room and collapsed onto the nearest chair in Obi-Wan's small sitting area. Obi-Wan's chair floated over beside her. As he began to describe the chain of events that had lead to his injuries and to Anakin's betrayal, she could only stare at him in shock. The thought that the Separatist leaders were powerful enough to control even a Jedi - especially one as powerful as Anakin - was terrifying. The thought of Anakin in that state was even worse.

"I'm doing everything I can to get him back," Obi-Wan assured Padme. "But…"

"What?" She asked.

"I'm not sure how the Council will respond to the video. They might feel that it's showing too much weakness to admit that a Jedi can be controlled like that."

"They might label him a traitor." She whispered.

"Even if we can save him, he might not have a home to come back to." Obi-Wan said. "I know it's a lot to ask, but could you..." his voice trailed off, unsure.

"I'll do my best to advocate for him in the Senate." She said. It wouldn't be easy - any overt support that she gave Anakin would come of as suspicious. But there were a number of ways she could quietly raise allies who would be willing to fight for Anakin's acceptance once he returned.

"Thank you." Obi-Wan said, his tone converting more than the words.

"Is there anything else I can do? To help get him back?" She knew the answer would be no, but she asked anyway. He shook his head.

"Most of the files Ahsoka and I are using for research...I shouldn't even have access to some of them. They aren't meant for the eyes of non-Jedi." He said. The comment stung, though she understood it. It was how Anakin spoke sometimes, as though there were aspects about being a Jedi that she could never hope to understand. Which, to be fair, they probably did. She still wished she could do more.

"How long have you known?" She asked, changing the subject. "About Anakin and I." It was clear from Obi-Wan's complete lack of surprise at her behavior that he knew something, at least. The question brought a faint smile to Obi-Wan's lips.

"Padme, I raised Anakin for more than half his life. I can tell when he's trying to hide something."

"Oh." She said. "Anakin always said he would be expelled from the Order if you- if the other Jedi found out about us."

Obi-Wan didn't miss the slip. "Yes, well, Anakin has always has always underestimated my loyalty to him."

"Oh." She said again, unsure of how to respond. She'd always thought that Obi-Wan would have supported her and Anakin's marriage, but Anakin was so convinced otherwise that she'd never said anything. Now she wished she had.

"In any case, it doesn't matter now," Obi-Wan said. Padme was fairly certain that it did still matter to Obi-Wan, but she let the matter drop.

"I should get back to the Senate, before anyone discovers I'm gone." She said. Obi-Wan nodded his agreement.

"I'll keep you updated on our progress. Is the comlink you contacted me from earlier secure?"

"As secure as it can be," she said.

"I'll say what I can over comm, then. For anything else...are you familiar with Dex's Diner?" He asked.

"Yes, Anakin took me there once." It was a small, crowded place that was a far cry from the type of dining she was used to as a Senator, but Anakin had been so excited to take her there that she'd done her best to seem enthusiastic.

"If I comm you and say to meet in the usual place, meet me there in one standard hour. I have an arrangement with Dex - he'll give us an unbugged room, and keep quiet about seeing you there." Obi-Wan said. Padme nodded her understanding, and stood to go.

"Be careful, Padme. There are plenty in the Senate who will be happy to have a reason to have a reason to exert greater control over the Jedi. They won't take kindly to any interference from you." He said. Padme smiled wryly.

"I've been a Senator for a while, Master Kenobi. I know what I'm doing," she said. Obi-Wan nodded distractedly.

"Of course, I didn't mean to imply..." He trailed off.

"It's all right, I understand." She said. Even disregarding his leg injury, Obi-Wan looked horrible. She suspected he hadn't slept well since since he'd discovered what happened to Anakin - she knew she wouldn't. She could forgive him his lack of his usual silver tongue.

She quickly left the way she'd come. Her speeder waited where she'd left it, concealed behind some abandoned stalls. Twenty minutes later, she was back at the Senate buildings, with no one the wiser to the fact that she'd left.

"Cancel all my meetings for the rest of today," she told Dorme, who looked concerned.

"Are you sure, my lady? You're supposed to meet with-" She began, but Padme cut her off.

"Please, just do it. I can't handle anything else today."

"Of course, my lady." Dorme said. "Is there anything..?"

"No, I just need to be alone." Padme said, trying and failing miserable at faking a smile.

"Of course, my lady." Dorme said, and left the room.

As soon as Dorme was out of the room, the emotions that Padme had been trying to suppress all day bubbled to the surface. She sat down at her desk, placed her head in her hands, and began to cry.

* * *

"How did that video get released?" Mace Windu asked, his voice dangerously low. "The press should never have had access to footage from official government cameras. Even if they did, all war footage is supposed to be screened and approved by the Senate publicity committee to prevent tactical secrets from leaking. So how in the nine hells did the press get this information before we did?" He asked the assembled Council members. As soon as Padme had left Obi-Wan's rooms, Obi-Wan had notified the Council about the released video. They all sat, grim-faced, after the video had been played in the center of the room.

"No one seems to know what happened." Obi-Wan said. "I spoke to the Senate public relations chair an hour ago. Apparently, someone with authority approved the videos, but no one seems to know who did it or why."

"That's not a good enough answer," Mace said. "If someone is leaking Jedi secrets to reporters-"

"This wasn't exactly a secret," Agen Kolar commented. "It's not a matter of Republic security that this be kept quiet. The press does have a right to discuss current events in the war effort."

"That doesn't change the fact that the public heard about this before this council did. That information should have at least come to us first." Saesee Tiin said.

"There should be an investigation into this," Kit Fisto said.

"Regardless of how this information was released, it is a fact that it has been released." Plo Koon's voice cut through the low murmur of discussion that was building in the chamber. "We must decide what public statement the Council will make regarding Skywalker's actions."

"The general public will never believe the truth," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "Most people don't understand the difference between the Jedi and the Sith. If we reveal that Skywalker is being controlled by Dooku…."

"People will start asking who we are controlling," Depa Billaba finished. "They'd never trust the Order again after that."

"There are enough people who mistrust us already due to exaggerated rumors about Jedi mind tricks," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "If we publicly confirm that Force-Sensitive individuals can control the bodies of others, even other Force-Sensitives, the rumors would be out of control."

Obi-Wan looked around the room, his heart sinking as other Counciler's began to nod and mutter agreement toward these points.

"Masters, what about Anakin?" he said. "If we publicly denounce him as a traitor, and he is able to be saved from Ataraxia-"

"You forget, Master Kenobi, that there is no cure for Ataraxia." Mace Windu's tone was icy cold. "The man you trained is dead, and you need to accept it."

"Condemn Skywalker's actions, we must." Yoda said. "Comment on his motives, we will not. Explain his actions to the Senate, we cannot." Most of Council nodded approvingly.

"Skywalker's betrayal will severely damage our relationship with the Senate, regardless of what we say about it," Saesee Tiin said. "We cannot afford to admit vulnerability on top of that."

"Master Yoda and Master Tiin are right." Mace Windu said. "The Order is in too precarious of a position to allow us the luxury of displaying weakness."

Ever the diplomat, Obi-Wan could see which way the tide was turning. When a vote was called, his was the only one for revealing the truth to the public.

"Obi-Wan, a moment?" Mace Windu said after the meaning had completed. Obi-Wan paused, and moved his chair back to into the room to face Mace. As the other councilors filed out of the room, he studied Mace. The other man didn't look much better than Obi-Wan felt, and Obi-Wan suspected he wasn't the only one who'd had a few sleepless nights the past week - though Mace was more likely concerned with the state of the Jedi Order than with Anakin. When, a few minutes later, Mace Windu and Plo Koon were the only ones left in the room, Obi-Wan knew what was coming.

"You want me to rescind my offer to train Ahsoka," he said before either of them had a chance to say anything. Mace grimaced.

"Be reasonable, Obi-Wan. There's going to be hell to pay over that video. I don't even want to think about what type of concessions the chancellor is going to demand from us for this."

"He can't-"

"Oh, he won't in so many words. But I promise you, Obi-Wan, there will be consequences."

"And so the council has decided that sacrificing the emotional well being of one Padawan is an acceptable loss?"

"Do you really think Ahsoka would be that badly off with me?" Plo Koon spoke for the first time, his voice as unreadable as always through his vocal modulator.

"Master Koon, of course not, I only meant-"

"Obi-Wan, even if it wasn't for this business with the Chancellor, I would advise Ahsoka against choosing you as a Master." Obi-Wan stared at Mace in disbelief.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" He demanded coldly.

"That you're in no state to train an apprentice at the moment. You won't be able to walk properly for weeks."

"There are dozens of instances of Jedi with physical disabilities training able-bodied apprentices-"

"And besides that," Mace continued as though Obi-Wan hadn't interrupted. "Ahsoka needs to begin to move on from Anakin. You've made it quite clear that you aren't willing to move on yet. Do you really think it's healthy for Ahsoka to live in a state of false hope?"

"I think it's more healthy than pretending Anakin is dead when he isn't!"

"He _is_ dead, Obi-Wan. For the love of the Force, there is no cure for Ataraxia. Even if you can't accept that, let Ahsoka have the chance to." Mace's voice softened. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, Obi-Wan. I can't stop you from requesting Ahsoka as an apprentice. But the Council will reject you. Spare us all the ordeal of having to reject a Counselor's request for a padawan." Such a thing had never happened as long as Obi-Wan could remember. It was rare enough for the Council to reject a master and padawan pairing - usually, it only happened when the Council thought a knight was too young and inexperienced to take an apprentice. It would cause a scandal if a well respected knight was denied a padawan for nebulous reasons. And with the storm that was about to break over Anakin's apparent betrayal...the Temple would need to present a united front. They couldn't afford an internal scandal at the moment. And a scandal would draw eyes toward him at a moment when he needed to go unnoticed - with too many people focused on his every move, it was too likely that his research and his theft of the Sith Holocron would be discovered. He couldn't afford to let that happen, not when he was the only person left still willing to fight for Anakin.

"I won't make the request," Obi-Wan said. Mace nodded.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan." He said. Obi-Wan ignored him and looked at Plo instead.

"Take care of her," He said.

"You know that I will," Plo replied. Obi-Wan nodded stiffly, spun his chair toward the door, and left to tell Ahsoka what had happened.


End file.
